You’ve gone through all the pre-deployment briefings. You’ve prepared your finances, obtained the requisite Power of Attorneys, printed out the list of emergency phone numbers, and placed candy kisses in a jar for your kids’ deployment countdowns.
If you’ve been through your spouse deploying a time or ten, then you’re well acquainted with our old friend, Murphy’s Law. With that in mind, just so we don’t jinx ourselves, we polled some of our military friends who shared their experiences with us about things we should absolutely never ever say while our spouses are deployed.
What YOU would add to these 22 things you'll never hear military spouses say during deployment?
1) I’m getting so much sleep!
Let’s face it—the worry and extra responsibilities do not tend to equal good sleep!
2) None of the kids have thrown up recently.
We’d never tempt fate this way...would we?
-Kara, Air Force spouse
3) Of course! We’d love to have house guests!
We love our family and friends, but we are most definitely not “company ready” right at the moment.
-Molly, Love the Everyday
4) This is SO much easier than last time.
Every deployment, I’m like, I got this. And life goes, “You think so, huh? Bring on Level 5!”
-Courtney, The Mediocre Mommy
5) This Power of Attorney covers EVERYTHING. So glad I didn’t get the special ones that spell everything out.
One thing you can you say about military families...we love our paperwork!
-Meg, Meg Flanagan Education Solutions
6) You know what hasn’t happened in a while? A blizzard canceling school for a week.
Yes, we love our kids, but MilitaryByOwner writer Dawn M. Smith reminds us that too much of a good thing...well, it's too much!
7) Wouldn’t it be funny if there was a worldwide shortage of wine?
GAH. No, just no!
8) The “P word” (plan). We never ever say this.
Because the best-laid plans are also subject to the demands of deployment!
-Kellie, MILLIE
9) Maybe my mother-in-law will come for an extended stay!
Or another extended family member you don’t wish to spend that much quality time with...Now, just to be fair, some of us don’t feel this way, but this was definitely NOT the wish of this anonymous sharer.
10) Yep, all the cars and appliances are working GREAT!
Why, why, why? Quick! Knock on wood!
11) Hey, honey, my computer stopped working. Can you fix it remotely?
Nope, no way. Military spouses are known for their creative, can-do handling of life. We’ve got this!
-Alexis from MILLIE
12) SURE...since I don’t have anything to do or anywhere to go, I’ll watch your kids, too.
Milspouses are the best friends and kid watchers ever, but let’s be honest, patience for more kids around is in short supply when we’re already solo parenting.
-Danette, Air Force spouse
13) This is a good opportunity to get another dog.
House-training a puppy? Sounds like a plan....
-Maggie, How to Milspouse
14) Any talk even remotely referring to a specific deployment return date.
Not just for OPSEC and PERSEC, but because there's no point in getting everyone's hopes up. It always changes!
-Laura, Air Force spouse
15) It could always be worse!
Because we know that yes, yes, it could.
-Kelly of Kelly Seeks
16) I don’t have to cook dinner every night!
Oh wait, yes I do….well, that’s what pizza delivery, Uber Eats, and drive-throughs are for!
-Melissa, Air Force spouse
17) Just watch, I’m going to try so many new recipes.
But cereal and toast can feature several times a week for dinner, no probs.
-Mary Ann Eckberg, MilitaryByOwner writer
18) Deployment is the perfect time to have a baby!
Ok, actually most military moms will agree that timing doesn’t really matter once you have that precious bundle in your arms!
-Lizann, The Seasoned Spouse
19) The time is FLYING by!
But is it…The time will pass—eventually!
-Megan, The Six Box
20) Yeah, I needed a break. SO glad my spouse is deployed!
Cue the eye rolling!
-Kat, retired spouse
21) Excellent. I was hoping you’d get PCS orders while you’re gone. I just can’t get enough of packing up, listing, and selling houses alone!
Nothing says love like showing your home to strangers while also getting ready for a move cross-country!
-Kim, She Is Fierce
22) It’s only 5 days till Christmas and they’re almost home. No way they’ll extend this deployment!
When it comes down to it, much as we may complain, we military families truly live the meaning of Mission First.
-Doug, The Military Guide
And even though we agree that the above are things we wouldn’t say...one feeling is common as we tick off the days and our loved one is finally headed home.
It’s almost over!
To all those deployed and their families waiting at home, we wish you all the best, few problems, and a speedy return of your servicemember!
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