7 Ways Military Spouses Can Face the Holidays Alone During Deployment

Tue, Dec 18, 2018 @ 08:12 AM Jen McDonald Military Life

As I write this, Christmas jingles are playing on the commercials, the town center nearby has its holiday decorations up, and I’m sure someone (not me!) already has their holiday cards addressed and stamped--maybe even mailed.

Feeling the holiday spirit yet? If so, great!

But for some military spouses, the upcoming holiday season doesn’t bring thoughts of joy this year. During my husband's last deployment, I often expressed the wish that I could pull the covers over my head in November and wake back up in January so I could simply skip all the trappings of the holiday season and feigned interest when my heart wasn't really in it.

If you’re also in that place this year due to deployment, distance from extended family, or living in another country, consider some alternative ways of celebrating Christmas...and maybe you'll find a little bit of that holiday spirit. 

7 Ways Military Spouses Can Face the Holidays During Deployment

7 Ways Military Spouses Can Face the Holidays Alone During Deployment 

1) Skip the gifts. 

What? (I heard that collective gasp.) Perhaps this is the year to think outside the box, literally, and decide on one collective family gift, purchase tickets to an event you wouldn’t normally go to, or plan a fun family trip for later in the year to look forward to.
 
7 Ways Military Spouses Can Face the Holidays Alone During Deployment
 
2) Volunteer or give. 
Maybe you don’t need or want any gifts this year or just can't bring yourself to face holiday shopping. Consider volunteering your time as a gift to others.
 
Whether through a military oriented organization such as the USO or a local organization, giving back can help you feel like you’re making a true difference in other people’s lives. Not sure where to begin? Take a look at the article, Practical Tips for Choosing a Charity to help decide where to best allocate your resources.
 

3) Living overseas? Go local! 

If you’re stationed overseas, embrace the different-to-you celebrations in your area and experience the holidays in a whole new way.
 
Whether it’s at the beach on an island or strolling through a Christkindlmarkt in Europe (which I highly recommend, by the way!), making new memories might help get you out of your holiday funk.
 
Christmasmarket
4) Focus on quality time. 
This may be the year to accumulate experiences rather than piles of more stuff. Some simple ideas:
  • Combat the dark winter days by watching a sunrise with a mug of your favorite hot beverage.
  • Surprise your kids with an ultra movie marathon of their favorite holiday movies.
  • Gift everyone a new book and spend a quiet day reading. 
  • If you’re recently moved, host a cookie exchange with your new neighbors.
  • Load up the kids, dog, and hot cocoa in the car on Christmas Eve and take a drive to look at lights, as this will likely be the day they’re at their brightest!
Making goodies for others

5) Focus outward.

Plan a get-together with other deployed spouses. Or, remember your elderly neighbors and pay a visit or take them some Christmas goodies. Likewise, holiday yummies or handmade cards may be appreciated by those working during the typical "off" days, like the military installation’s security forces, gate guards, firefighters, and others.
 
Click for Resources for Military Spouses
 

6) Create new memories. 

If you’re currently going through a deployment or long separation from your spouse, it may feel important to keep some of your regular traditions for everyone’s sake. But maybe it’s time to add a new twist? Decide to spend the day in pajamas or eat out at a restaurant instead of cooking a large meal yourself. Then reward yourself with a long winter’s nap!
 7 Ways Military Spouses Can Face the Holidays Alone During Deployment
 

7) Give yourself permission to handle the holidays how you choose...without apology. 

Whatever you decide, remember that the holidays during deployment are stressful and sad. Don't add to the burden by placing unrealistic expectations on yourself. If you travel, don't travel, throw a party, or choose to stay in, make your decision and own it. Next year's holiday season will roll around again before you know it!
 
While you may be feeling more Grinch-like than festive these days, approaching the holidays creatively can help make the holidays less of a time to slog through so you can get past them and instead become a surprising time of making great new memories. We wish you the best holiday season, no matter where in the world your military family is stationed!