How long do you plan to stay in?
It's a question military families hear throughout a service member's career. Around the 20-year mark, though, it becomes very real.
Do you retire? Or keep going?
My husband ultimately served 31 years in the Air Force. At 20 years in, he'd recently been promoted, had job opportunities he was excited about, and our family was on board with continuing military life. But those later years weren't always easy. His TDYs picked up considerably, and for the better part of a decade, he was gone more than he was home. Our kids were growing up, our parents aging, and the distance and time apart began to feel different, too.
Eventually, you realize there really is life after the military. So, should you stay in the military after 20 years? There's no one answer, and what makes sense at Year 20 may look very different a few years later.
Active-duty service members generally become eligible for regular military retirement after 20 or more years of service.
An important factor when retiring from the military is planning for retirement pay. Take a look at which system the military member falls under. Under the legacy High-36 retirement system, the retired pay mulitiplier is 2.5% for each year of service, or 50% at 20 years. Under the Blended Retirement System (BRS), it's 2% per year, or 40% at 20 years. Staying longer increases the multiplier under either system.
A military retirement calculator can help you compare estimates at different retirement dates. But finances are only part of the decision.
And continuing to serve in the military past the 20-year mark isn't always up to the service member. Depending on branch, rank, promotion results, and retention rules, some service members may be required to separate or retire rather than continue serving. Current policies vary by service and career situation.
Sometimes, the service member simply isn't done yet, and the family is willing to keep going along for the ride.
Christy's Army husband served 34 years:
"The military was our career path, and despite hard times, we were proud to serve and enjoyed it. I think as long as he was being promoted and not stagnating, then we never considered looking elsewhere."
Julie, whose husband served in the Air Force for over 30 years, remembers being excited about what was still ahead:
"I believe what motivated us to continue with military service was the flurry of potential for the years ahead. We wanted to see where this wild ride would take us!"
Linda's Marine Corps husband served 25 years. She said they loved military life and saw no reason to get out.
Danya's family felt much the same. Her Navy husband retired after 27 years. The career ladder and pension structure played a part in their decision, and they were also fortunate to receive back-to-back orders that allowed their two oldest sons to graduate from the same high school.
Continuing military service affects the entire family. Another assignment can mean more separations or deployments, another job search for the military spouse, another move for the kids, or more years far from extended family.
And moves can feel very different as military kids get older. For us, leaving children behind at college after we received another set of PCS orders was one of the most difficult aspects. Christy remembers how difficult it was dropping their youngest off at George Mason University and then PCSing to Alaska. Linda's family moved to California while their daughter attended college in Virginia, something that helped drive their decision to retire.
Danya saw another side of it after retirement. Their family moved from California to Ohio when their youngest son was going into his freshman year of high school. Looking back, she wishes they'd stayed in California for four more years. She says,
"It was tough for him for a while. The moves get harder as they get older. Plus, when our oldest two came 'home' from college on breaks, they didn't have any friends here."
Aging parents can change the equation, too. Linda felt guilty that much of the responsibility for her parents fell to her sister who lived closest to them. We also struggled with being far from our parents.
Julie summed up many of those pressures:
"I understand how someone could have concerns with staying in. We had them, too, with aging parents, children who face challenges with moving, kids hitting their senior years of high school, and dual careers requiring involuntary separation."
Start with the practical questions. What would retirement pay look like now compared with staying in for several more years if you have the option? What civilian job opportunities are available? Where do you want to live, and is the work you want available there (for either spouse)?
Then look beyond the numbers. How does the military spouse feel about continuing? How are the kids doing? What would another PCS, deployment, TDY, or demanding assignment mean for everyone?
Christy described their approach this way:
"Every PCS move affected the family in lots of ways, good and bad, but we were truly one team and had all committed to it... I would say it depends on your skill-set, whether you are getting regularly promoted up the chain in the military, how both sides of the marriage partnership feel about the strength of the marriage and psychological health of children, if any."
And Danya offered this advice:
"Give the decision the time it deserves. Weigh all of the pros and cons. Try to think into the future the best that you can."
If you decide that longer military service is the right choice for now, it's worth revisiting that decision as circumstances change. However, you might just be surprised how much you enjoy military life as the years go on, different opportunities pop up, or you finally get to move to a bucket-list location. For us, the later years included two assignments to Hawaii, which is something I'll always be grateful for!
Julie observes:
"There are friends you'll make who will enrich your life. Friends that you wouldn't have met if you hadn't stayed in. Friends you couldn't have met if you hadn't taken a certain assignment. As time passes, the jobs will get tougher. The responsibilities will be more challenging. The moves will happen more frequently. But life has been much more rewarding over the last 12 years than over the first 12 or 20. We are so glad we stayed in. As it says on the little wooden heart that has been hanging in our hall since year one, 'Home is where the Air Force sends us.' Together. Every step of the way!"
Whether retirement happens at 20 years or later, it pays to plan ahead. Will the military member's next career move require education or certifications? Does where you want to settle make sense for future employment? What does the military spouse want his or her next chapter to look like?
Linda recommends "pre-planning and setting goals well before hitting 20 if you plan to get out." Christy also suggests looking carefully at your financial picture and talking with a financial professional who understands military life.
Formal transition planning should start early, too. Retiring service members can schedule Individualized Initial Counseling and the Preseparation Counseling Brief up to 24 months before retirement, and both must be completed at least 365 days before the separation or retirement date. The rest of the Transition Assistance Program process continues from there.
Take a look at our list of top veteran-friendly cities across the U.S.
If there's one thing our family's 31 years of Air Force life taught me, it's that you don't make one decision at the 20-year mark and never revisit it. For us, staying past 20 made sense. Eventually, retiring did, too.
Run the numbers, talk honestly with each other, and think not only about the next assignment or promotion, but about what you each want after military service is over. Because whether you retire at 20, 25, 30, or beyond, there eventually comes a day when someone else stops telling you where to live.
And after decades of military life and PCS orders, that might be one benefit no military retirement calculator can put a number on!