Military family life can create competing priorities, including the spouse's career, children's schooling, and other logistics. Some military families choose a temporary living arrangement known as a geo-bachelor separation. As difficult as the adjustment will be, there are ways to alleviate some of the inconveniences and disruptions. Coping with the transition takes thoughtful planning and a flexible mindset, starting with securing a second living option, such as available military housing.
This post will walk you through short-term housing options, creative solutions, and coping strategies to help your family navigate short-term separation with confidence.
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What Is a Geo-Bachelor?
A geo-bachelor (or geographic bachelor) is a service member who lives apart from their family by choice, not by military order. Families choose this arrangement for many reasons, including:
- Children settled in local schools
- A spouse’s job or education
- Family stability during frequent relocations
- Short-term assignments where a full move doesn’t make sense
While the family remains in the primary home, the military member sets up temporary living quarters elsewhere. Short-term separation is still a big adjustment, but understanding your options can help.
Finding Housing for a Second Location
Faced with a geo-bachelor separation, many families might assume that an expensive, fully furnished apartment is the best way to search for rental homes, and sometimes it is, because it’s just easy. But, faced with the extraordinary expenses you’ll incur, it’s time to think about creative living solutions.
There’s not much upside to paying extra rent for a housing situation where you won’t be sleeping half of the time. This scenario usually applies when a year-long or 18-month PCS is ordered, but the service member will be deployed or on TDY for many months of that timeframe.
Start with On-Base Housing Options
There are several other options to consider besides a furnished apartment, such as military rentals. Research every on-base military housing possibility. Each installation has its own rules for temporary living. Unused barracks, TLF, leftover base housing, hotels located on the base, and RV parks are options to explore.
Even if the accommodations aren't designed for geo-bachelors, that doesn’t mean there aren’t exceptions with proper permission. Housing operations are businesses and always prefer to have their rooms occupied to remain profitable.
Tip: Explore nearby bases of every branch, even if your assignment doesn’t have housing openings. Expanding the geographical search typically works well in regions with many nearby bases, such as Washington, DC, and San Antonio, TX.
Affordable Off-Base Housing Alternatives
If base housing isn’t available or practical, off-base rentals can fill the gap, but you might need to get a little creative.
Hotels and Extended-Stay Options
Hotels are cost-prohibitive, but they can work when paired with reward points, credit card perks, and military discounts, especially for the shorter geo-bachelor terms. First, always consolidate any free stays from member perks and credit card rewards. You’ll earn them back and then some if you end up paying out of pocket for a portion of the time.
Speak with the hotel manager about your military status. They may offer flexibility for long-term guests.
Extended-stay hotels have a little more flexibility in how long guests can stay. It’s worth discussing your military situation with the manager to see what can be worked out. Accept friends' offers to store belongings in their garages or basements. This allows for work travel for a couple of weeks, a quick stop to pick up needed items, and a hotel check-in.
Don’t be deterred by the name “corporate housing.” These, too, are businesses that likely rent to long-term occupants who aren’t traditional corporate travelers. Blu Corporate Housing has available sites in several military-heavy states like Virginia, Maryland, Texas, and Colorado.
Short-Term Rentals and Apartments
Other rentals, such as a vacation home, room for rent, or a traditional rental home, provide more space and potential savings for longer separations. Ideally, they're also a safe place to store belongings while traveling for work. Keep in mind the season of your geo-bach term. Off-season rentals are sometimes difficult for owners to fill, and they're more likely to amend their rental agreements.
Tip: Research housing options within a comfortable driving distance. Suburban accommodations tend to be more affordable.
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Geo-Bachelor Coping Tips and Strategies
Setting up two households is a challenge for families. There are holidays to consider, birthdays, piano recitals, as well as other important activities that don’t stop because Mom or Dad aren't in town. Planning routines and expectations early equals less confusion later and provides events to look forward to for everyone in the family.
For the Geo-Bachelor
You won’t need to pack as much as you think. Keep the drive or flight simple and pack as little as possible to make unloading easier. Check and double-check what your new place has available, including linens and other essentials, especially access to a washer and dryer. Laundry is a huge time and money burden if not done on-site.
Before you pack to leave and when you arrive, make a dollar store your first stop for saving money on tossable items like salt and pepper shakers and food containers. Pack your comfy belongings, such as pillows and bedding, but leave sentimental pieces at home. The less to worry about, the better.
Schedule a day to cook for the entire week to avoid eating all meals at restaurants. Food prep and freezer meals are cheaper and help with waistline maintenance.
If applicable, negotiate with the manager/homeowner about including a potential pet clause in the lease. They might be more agreeable if the visits are only occasional. If the whole family wants to visit, it saves on kenneling and hotel fees.
For the Family at Home
Use the mail system often and treat the separation like a deployment. Cards, letters, and snacks make each trip to the mailbox fun for parents while they're gone, and for the kids at home when they get a surprise sent from far away.
Think of the temporary location like a vacation destination. Inexpensive travel toys and art accessories kept only at Daddy’s place are fun to rediscover each visit. When visiting, explore the city and visit entertainment venues such as museums and libraries. At home, create a calendar for the kids with upcoming events for the temporary home and their normal house routine.
Keep schedule expectations in check; it is still the military you're dealing with, after all! Travel for both parties is exhausting after long weeks at work, so prepare for occasional disappointments when the timing doesn’t work out.
As tough as the separation is, the geo-bachelor assignment is temporary. Learning to embrace and enjoy new experiences, like riding a train to visit Dad or preparing Mom’s favorite meal when she comes home, is a coping strategy that makes the transition from the temporary house back to the permanent home a little more fun.
